It all started in nursery school when my favourite activity was teeter totter.  I would sit on that thing and go up and down, up and down, you wouldn’t believe how many times I went up and down.  Even when there was no one on the other side, I would still sit there, using my legs to push off, although the trip down seemed a lot faster.   I thus learned the need for cooperation, a.k.a., the need to convince other kids to do what I wanted to do.

I was very kind, I would do them favours.  They noticed, however, that I would go like crazy once they were sitting on the other end.  I would sit there just chanting, “teeeeter-tottttter.   teeeeeter-tottttter.”  Eventually I would let them off if they complained to the child care assistant, who in this case, was also a nun. 

Since those days I have been diagnosed as having an irrational fear of penguins.  But you don’t want to hear about all my troubles.

My mother noticed that I was saying this “teeter-totter” thing under my breath when we walked home and tried to use her arm like a spring.

Being a kind and loving mother, she asked the doctor about my ongoing obsession so he suggested she get me involved in other playground activities.

That’s when I discovered the slide.  You got to climb up ropes and stairs, sometimes with great difficulty and then you got to experience a wonderful slide down.  Sort of the totter without the teeter.

This seemed good to me.  I loved that slide down, although, it was always saddening to reach the bottom and then realize you had to climb back up.

Now my mother noticed my tendency to climb up the stairs at our house and slide all the way down to the bottom on my bottom.  As our stairs were made of wood, this led inevitably to a splinter and my realization that there was no gain without pain.  If I wanted the sensation of whooshing down the stairs, I had to be prepared for a bit of a sting in the tush.

Being a child genius, I discovered the uses of card boxes, when you flattened them.   They could be used like toboggans for slaloming down stairways.  I started to go down headfirst which led to my undoing and the banning of sliding all together.  I ended up with about 6 stitches in my chin when I slid off the cardboard just before the final step.  Ouch!

The doctor suggested I get interested in other activities at the nursery school.  I headed straight for the swing set.  This was sliding down but without climbing up.  Somebody pushed you!  You just had to keep your seat and you could get not only the sensation of falling forward but also the bigger thrill of falling backward once you reached the limit of your forward swing.  Forward up and backward down and backward up and forward down.  This was teeter-totter but in four dimensions.  Could anything be more fun than this!

Apparently, my child’s brain figured out how this could be more fun.   This was to wait until you were at the top of the forward swing and use that as a launch to send you flying into a pile of leaves.   Well, I was aiming for the leaves.  Which is how I broke my arm.

What can I say?  If they hadn’t gotten me used to going up and down so many ways as a child I would be a calm and placid person today.