So here I am looking for my keys.  It’s time to leave.  My wife and daughter are eager to start off their day and are getting their shoes on at the front door.

But where are my keys?  This is very annoying and produces a little anxiety.   Will I find the keys before their patience wears thin?  If I don’t find them soon, some one will ask, “what are you doing?  Why aren’t we going out to the car?”

Then I will have to explain what I am doing and then their exasperation will increase because, as you may have suspected, I have done this before.

Theoretically, it is easy.  “You should always leave things in the same place.  That way, they will be handy when you look for them.”  This was either lesson 4 or 5 in kindergarten but somehow it has not taken with me.

Well, actually, to me it feels like I left my keys in the same place but somehow they are not there.  I know because I go back and look in the same place several times and the keys maintain their stubborn absence.

I wander through the house looking in all the rooms.  If I am not careful, someone will realize I have lost something and then my goose will be cooked.  So I streak from room to room while people are not looking.

Eventually I find the keys in the most unlikely place - where they fell out of my pocket on the floor beside the couch when I had had a brief nap.  They say you find things where you left them but I don’t think this should count.  I didn’t with full and awareness “leave” my keys.  In one sense, you could say they left me.

In any case, I found the keys just as my wife and daughter asked me where I was.  “Just dashed back for a phone number,” I say and then I pass them on the way out to the car.  That was a close one!

I seem to have had some bad luck with this losing things busniess this week.   First there were the keys.  Then I left my umbrella at a restaurant where I met some friends.  When I went back, the owner told me he had given the umbrella to my friend who I am now going have to hassle to get the thing back.

Then there was the cell phone that I left at the car dealership when I had the oil change, the credit card I left at the post office when I had to pay for a priority post package but didn’t have the cash and the cell phone again at the doctor’s office.

The worst was when I walked out of Bayshore and couldn’t remember where I had left my car.   I wandered around, my anxieties increasing.   I broke into a cold sweat as I could imagine myself having to explain that I had lost the car.  Then, as neared the edge of the parking lot, I remembered.  I had walked.  Somehow, I was overjoyed that I had found my car.

I have seen Star Wars many times and every time, Obi Wan tells Luke or Anakin “to be mindful” of his feelings.  I have taken this philosophy too far.   I am now going to be mindful of what I have on my person and what I do with it.  I will call it Zen concentration and sell it as a therapy and as a philosophy.

I will become rich.   I can see myself now on the Tonight Show or on CTV explaining the intricacies of my approach and the usefulness of my technique.   I will be famous.

Now, if I could only find where I left the socks I was going to wear today, I could walk out the door and start my career.  What was I going to say?