I read your story, and near the end you talk about changing when you were around 50. You suddenly felt that you knew who you were and you enjoyed life. I had the same experience but perhaps two or three years later. I had a wake up call- I worked very hard and suddenly I became quite ill and had to stop work for two or three months. My recovery was very successful and that changed me. I started to feel comfortable with my life, and although I still work hard, I don’t worry about anything, I do what I want at work and at home. I have accepted myself and I enjoy life.